Beauty is Pain
by Pearlinprocess
Summary: Short and simple one-shot. Gaz gets tired of Dib looking like a greasy pig, so she gives him a make-over. Dib puts up with the torture because he has to, but the results actually aren't so bad, if Zim's reaction is any indication. Vague hints of ZADR at the end, but mostly just good ol' fashioned sibling torture. Please review!


"You look... Horrible." Gaz suddenly announced one day, completely out of the blue. She had been playing her gameslave as usual, about to pass him as he watched Mysterious Mysteries on the couch, eating pizza. Instead she stopped, blocking the TV, and glared at him.

"You always have, of course," She went on as he glared weakly back, offended but unable to argue - Gaz ate plenty of greasy pizza like him too, but she washed and made herself up regularly. No one would be stupid enough to say she wasn't pretty, but it was more than completely true, too. "But it's worse than it's ever been, and it's your own fault. You're so obsessed with your stupid paranormal junk that you don't even always bathe regularly, let alone do anything to fix yourself up. That, Dib, is going to change from now on."

"Wait, what?" Dib finally interrupted - It was one thing for her to insult him, but he didn't want to have to DO anything but take it as usual and then go back to what he was doing. It was the easiest route to take when your sister was an all-powerful demon-witch-girl. Unfortunately, she wasn't going to give him the choice this time.

"You heard me." She barked back, turning off her game for the first time Dib had seen in weeks. "Your show's over now. I said get UP, you gross, greasy pig! We're going to the bathroom and washing that filthy flaky hair of yours with tea tree shampoo and scrubbing that nasty zitty pizza face with an exfoliating cream! NOW!" She outright roared, and to avoid any more pain, Dib immediately jumped up off the couch to obey her.

She marched him to the bathroom, and once in it she kicked the back of his knees, causing him to fall forward onto them in front of the tub. He gripped the sides of the porcelain as she hovered above him, turning on the shower head. Then she rummaged around under the sink for a moment while the water - Cold at first and then a little too hot for comfort - Rained down on Dib's big, greasy head.

Standing directly behind him, she squirted a liberal amount of shampoo into her hands and then began to roughly apply it across Dib's scalp, using her purple-and-black manicured nails to rake through his barely-kempt, gel-crusted hair and scrape the filth off of his skull. She didn't warn him to close his eyes, and he remembered just in time as the corners began to sting.

He grin and bore it through the extra-hot rinse and repeat, then bit down on his lip, wincing as she began to rub a scratchy, sandpaper-like cream all over his face. She then took down the shower head and sprayed him directly in the face with it, causing Dib to briefly choke as the water went up his nostrils.

She finally turned off the water after all the suds had run down the drain, and pulled him up by the back of his soaked t-shirt. She shoved him to sitting onto the toilet and then began rummaging in the cabinet above it. Dib, who was getting to be fairly tall in his teenaged years, ducked his head down as much as he could and rolled his eyes to the side, supressing a grossed-out groan - Gaz's breasts were inches from his face, much to his disgust and mortification. No matter how perfectly round and perky, sister-boobs were never hot...

Thankfully it only last a second as she pulled back with a brush in one hand, and a small rectangular box with the other, which she put down on the edge of the sink. She then used the brush to rake the hair back and remove the tangles, before tossing the brush into the sink and reaching into the cabinet again. This time she pulled out a pair of scissors, and Dib immediately ducked down so fast he almost fell off the toilet.

"H-HEY! Wait, Gaz, put down the scissors!" He shouted in fear, eyes wide.

"Calm down you lunatic!" She barked back at him. "I'm just giving you a quick trim, I'm not gonna cut off your dumb scythe-thing! Your boring, old, dumb, everyday thing you do! But I AM going to dye it. We're going with navy blue-black." She informed him matter-of-factly, and he sighed deeply, just hoping to get this torture over with as fast as possible.

She mixed the ingredients for the dye in a bowl, and after making a few calculated snips through his hair , only once barely grazing by his ear on purpose to get a yelp out of him, she began to apply the cold, gross, goop-y stuff to his head and hair with a small brush. He shuddered several times and stuck his tongue out during the process, and finally did allow himself to groan out load when she informed him that he would have to put up with the discomfort for twenty minutes before washing it out.

And in the meantime, he wasn't about to get any breaks. After washing the dye off her hands, Gaz took out another cream, some cinnamon-smelling stuff, and rubbed it across his face too. It made his skin all tingly, which felt kinda good for a minute, until it started to get vaguely burn-y, and then outright sizzling. He finally began to mention it once the pain began to get too bad to bear, "Um, this stuff kinda REALLY BURNS...!"

"Good." Gaz replied evenly, leaning her back against the closed door. "That means it's working."

She finally let him rinse everything off a few minutes later, and once he returned from the shower she rubbed one last powder-y smelling cream on him, slapping both hands against his cheeks before handing him the brush to finish the job himself. "That stuff I just rubbed on your face is to be left on overnight, but you WILL wash it off first thing tomorrow morning. You WILL continue to make yourself look halfway presentable regularly or we will have to go through this uncomfortable little experience again - Or I might just murder you in your sleep. Your call, Dib."

Finally, she shoved him out of the way and kicked the door open, grabbing her gameslave and storming back to her room. Dib scurried off to his own room after she had finally disappeared, thankful to only be mildly traumatized by his sister this time.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next morning, Dib obeyed his sister's demands and washed the cream off of his face before slicking his scythe back with gel, as usual. He stared doubtfully at his reflection in the mirror, the strange new blue color of his hair. It was a pleasing enough shade to his eyes, but he wasn't sure what to make of it being the color of his usual raven-black locks.

Oh well, he thought, there was nothing to be done about it now, and at least his skin did look a lot better after Gaz's torment, go figure. So he got himself together to go to Hi Skool, preparing for the onslaught of merciless teasing he was sure was soon to come from his peers.

However, to his great surprise, a shocked silence came over almost everyone who looked at Dib that morning. The boys seemed to be unsure what make of him at first, and all the girls, even the popular ones like Jessica and Zita, were whispering to each other.

But the only one to actually come up to his face and say anything was, of course, Zim. He barged right up to the much taller human boy and stood on the tip of his toes to shove his gloved finger up at his face, sputtering, "W-What on Earth happened to YOU, Dib-?! Have you gone through some kind of... METAMORPHOSIS? HMMM?! WHY is your hair BLUE? WHY do you look SO-HNNGH!"

Zim suddenly seized up and then threw his hands up in the air, running away screaming. Dib stared after him as he went, before a goofy grin erupted upon his face. Running his hand through his new blue 'do, he strutted confidently off to class.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


End file.
